This is the first full length play I’ve ever written. Fair warning, it’s long – it took most of the day for me to write it. I will split it into four posts of one scene each. For those who wish to wait, I will publish the play in it’s entirety after I have released all of the separate scenes.
Ladies and gentlemen, please take your seats, switch your phones to silent and stow your noisy children. Now sit back as we raise the curtain on tonight’s performance of “Cryptocurrency Drama”!
DRAMATIS PERSONAE
ERNIE, an opportunistic salesman
BIT BRAIN, a customer
THE DIRECTOR OF AUTOMATED NETWORKS, a director of a large franchise
NED, a director of a small franchise
ACT 1 – The Past
Scene 1
Bit Brain enters a large store on the main road of a frontier Western Town established by pioneers. There he is greeted by an opportunistic salesman named Ernie.
ERNIE the OPPORTUNISTIC SALESMAN
Welcome sir! And a very good day to you!
BIT BRAIN
Thank you kind fellow, and a very good day to you too!
ERNIE the OPPORTUNISTIC SALESMAN
Is there anything that I can assist you with?
BIT BRAIN
Perhaps a little later. I’ve heard a lot of good things about this store, it seems to be very popular. I wanted to see for myself what all the hype was about.
ERNIE the OPPORTUNISTIC SALESMAN
No problem, just let me know if you need me.
BB wonders around the store and surveys the merchandise
BIT BRAIN
Ernie! Would you mind if I asked you a few questions?
ERNIE the OPPORTUNISTIC SALESMAN
No problem sir! Ask away!
BIT BRAIN
I see a lot of new businesses have opened up around here recently. What’s happening?
ERNIE the OPPORTUNISTIC SALESMAN
Oh yes sir! You see, this is a frontier town. We have fled the mismanaged areas of the central government and have moved to this free and previously unsettled area. We didn’t feel safe living and working in the big towns anymore. I used to work in a bank in a large town, do you know what the building was made of?
BIT BRAIN
No, do tell.
ERNIE the OPPORTUNISTIC SALESMAN
It was made of cards! It has become common practice for them to construct financial institutions out of playing cards! I would never have believed it if I had not seen it with my own two eyes, I know that many others do not believe it when I tell them!
BIT BRAIN
I believe you Ernie, I too have witnessed the houses of cards with my own eyes. That’s why my people and I have now moved out here to the frontier. What I’m trying to do now is to make a few good investments to set me up for the future. That’s why I’m here today, to see if I’m interested in buying what you guys are selling.
ERNIE the OPPORTUNISTIC SALESMAN
I assume that sir has already been to the largest building in our town, the one with an enormous sign that says “Bank Toppling Currency”? They create most of the money that we use around here – we just abbreviate it as “BTC”. They actually have a mine beneath the building. Anyone with a pickaxe is free to go and mine their own money; wonderful system isn’t it?
BIT BRAIN
Yes indeed! I have been into the mine myself. Unfortunately my mining tools are rather crude compared to some of the advanced mining equipment that people are using down there, so I just bought some of their BTC off them with my dollars.
Speaking of BTC; I’ve taken a little walk around your store, and I like what I see. I would be interested in spending some of my BTC here, does this store accept it?
ERNIE the OPPORTUNISTIC SALESMAN
Oh I’m delighted to hear that sir! Yes of course we take BTC, but we have our own little account system that you will have be to registered on before we can process any transactions.
BIT BRAIN
Okay, how do I do that?
ERNIE the OPPORTUNISTIC SALESMAN
We operate on a system whereby you buy everything on a store loyalty card. We call it the “Customer Purchasing Unit” or “CPU”. I’m afraid that it’s not a quick and easy process to get an account going, but it’s worth it in the long run. What you then do is you deposit a small amount of BTC onto your CPU, and that guarantees that you will always be able to use our store! Great system, isn’t it?
BIT BRAIN
Weeeeelll, it does sound a tad over-complicated, but for guaranteed access to this obviously expanding store, it seems like a fair trade-off.
ERNIE the OPPORTUNISTIC SALESMAN
Yes, I’m afraid that one of the directors here is known for developing very complex in-store economic systems, but he is very popular and there is no lack of customers queueing up to use them! Once you have a CPU, you can transact with any of the stores in our growing franchise!
BIT BRAIN
Sign me up Ernie!
